Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize