But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
