just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
