In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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