hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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