But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
