last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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