Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
