Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
PANTIES FOUND
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