why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
