not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
That accounts for only three of the penises
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
