He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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