SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
