Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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