Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
