I cannot find my penis.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
