was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
