ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
