don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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