Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize