At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
