Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
