i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
