Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
