hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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