Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
