Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
