she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
