Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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