How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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