everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
