never play flip cup with pint glasses
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Randomize
