I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
