best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
