But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize