Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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