Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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