This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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