i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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