guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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