so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
