Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
