Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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