Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
