My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
