Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
