So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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