Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
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