How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
