Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
she pinky promised me she was 18
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
