you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
