He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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