I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
