I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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