I wish life had little blips of pornography
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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