No, you can still breathe under the balls.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
