we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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